I dreamt of you...

*(picture from http://rapgenius.com/Massive-attack-risingson-lyrics#note-1810491)

I dreamt of you today my dear.
I dreamt of us - sitting together, next to each other, looking at the world go by.
We weren't looking at each other but I knew exactly the minute details that defined your face.
I knew that I didn't have to look at you to see you.


I dreamt of a moment of clarity when you put your hand around my shoulder - touching me the way no man has..
Giving me the chance to rest my head on your shoulder without feeling weak.
A moment of respite from trying to be strong always.


I dreamt that I cared ; that you made me feel secure enough to care without the concern of getting hurt.
Or maybe if I did get hurt, this moment with you would be worth all the pain?


I heard a thud. And in the fuzzy boundary between sleep and conscious, I searched for you by my side.
I could feel you, but you were fading away.
I woke up and you were not real.

Euphoria

Euphoria - when was the last time I felt this sensation?
The awe inspiring creativity; the feeling where words burst out of you so fast that your hands cannot match the speed of your mind...

The magnificence of everything seems to dawn on me at this moment - the beauty of nature; the duality of the human mind; beauty of poetry; the comfort of a good friend; the thrill of an unknown place; hope for the future; belief in yourself; power in your vision, thought and deed; the need to be alone....

Walking over the galaxies... looking at the insignificance of the earth
Standing next to a loved one... marveling at the significance of a single person..

incoherence..and peace.

A memory from Langkawi

In the stillness of the ocean bed, I saw the marvel of nature.The huge waves crested and broke tumultuously over the surface. The roar of the waves asserted its powers on us, mere mortals. The subtly different hues of blues and greens of the water around gave me the impression that I was looking at the entire spectrum of the blue-green wavelength. A peep into the ocean proved me wrong.The fish in various colours, swam around in orderly schools. The fish were coloured brighter than the brightest blue of the ocean and duller than the dullest green of the ocean. I was transcended into a mode where I felt like I was watching tantalizing colours dripping into a giant blue tub of water and mixing rapidly to form the most beautiful patterns and shades.

A few laps, and innumerable heart beats away, the dull corals came into view. now, the colour palettes wove in and out of the complex coral structures.

A baby shark swam by, sending a school of fish swimming away in a flurry. The white sands at the very bottom glistened with all their abundant knowledge gained from centuries of looking up at the world above. Except for the fish swimming around, the world in my view was absolutely still.

I couldn't help but marvel the fact that this calmness was hiding, deep in its loins, capability of mass destruction with just a gentle shrug.... All sounds ceased to exist... the colourful tranquility wedged itself in the crook of my mind as I lost control over my snorkelling gear and surfaced.

If I could live my life again....

A flight from Chennai to Singapore is not fun. Specially when two infants in opposite rows are having a screaming match. It's some what like a pendulum - one without a damping factor. All is peaceful for a few moments. The second I start thanking the fates for sparing me this time, the one in the seat in front of me start wailing. The one in the adjacent row takes the cues and starts going on at full volume at once. They are in perfect co-ordination. They take turns like they went for screaming lessons for years together. It sounds somewhat like this :

#1 :....Waaaaah

#2:...................Waaaaaah

#1:...................................Waaaaaah

#2...................................................Waaaaaah

#1....................................................................WAAAAAAAAH

#2...............................................................................................WAAAAAAAAH

Well, you get the idea. If only SJ Suryah had been on the flight, he's have made an amazing movie on how it was in the fates of these screamers to unite in holy matrimony later in life.

Anyway, I couldn't sleep, so I sat and thought about things. This process generally leaves me much more confused than I generally am in life...Since I was just coming back to mokkapore after an amazing week at home, I couldn't help but think.. If I had to make some decisions in life again...would I choose to leave home at 17 years of age and go to Singapore for my education?

I am very thankful for the taste of independence that I got at an early age that has made me what I am today. The absolute freedom to do what I want to and be accountable for my actions, financial independence, a very close circle of friends, new lifestyle and its consequences.... the list is endless.

But at what cost? It is only at home that the concept of unconditional love exists. I do not have t think if my statements will be mis interpreted. I do not have to worry if I will be judged on what I wear.

Every time I visit my hometown, the culture of the place, in all its glory and dirtiness, engulfs me and makes me feel like I belong to there. There is no dearth of good food.

At home, there is the luxury sharing everyday joys and tears with people you love (and the same people love you back!). Once back in my own world, the facade of the bravado has to go on, leaving a tingling feeling that maybe i grew up too fast?

The worst part about visiting home is the return journey... The sinking feeling in my stomach on the day I leave - the uncertainty of when I would visit next - would I ever get to live at my home again? as my parents' daughter and experience the nice-ities and the not-so-niceities of staying at home?

Yet, If I could live my life again.. What would I do? I am stumped. It would be absurd to say that I'd have been happy without my independence. equally absurd would be to say that I don't miss home or my parents and sister...Some questions just don't have any answers. Life just goes on....

Diwali

Diwali is fast approaching - and in quite a few years, it finally has some meaning.

however, thanks to thalaivar, everyone get ready for a deluge of messages from all over that says "Happy Diwali Folks"

How did I miss this?

Disclaimer : The post below has been lifted from Shweta's blog -word for word. I am disappointed that I missed this announcement somewhere in uni. I am even further disappointed that a similar session was not organised for the ladies!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ever wish there is an enriching experiential session to address your key concerns as a male and quickly improve your personal appeal to attract that special someone? Do you wait months and years for her answer only to discover she got just attached last night — to a guy she barely knew for less than an hour?!! Ever throw your hands up in the air and exclaim, “That’s it! I’ve had enough!”

Do Not Wait! Join THIS Event announced on the NUS student portal:

What Women Want – How to be the One Women Desire

Here’s your chance to clear the doubts and find out what really goes on behind the ladies’ world, take what really works to make your personal life more exciting, enriching and exhilarating than before!

In this no-holds barred exciting session, you will discover…

Why do some men keep getting rejected and how you canminimize or even eliminate being rejected…

The secret techniques of making women desire to draw themselves closer to you!

Why some guys could be attached in less than an hour and how you can too!

What are the rules of attraction for guys and why is everyone designed to play by them!

What makes a woman decide you might be the man she wants!

The hidden ways and strategies of getting ladies to open their hearts, seeking to be with you more and more…

How to make a woman think about you constantly!

Answers to all the burning questions you have been wanting to ask…

And much, much more…

(Due to the confidential and highly sensitive nature of the information, this program is STRICTLY for MEN only. Participants are required to sign a non-disclosure agreementprior to attending the workshop.)

Alas! Being female deprives one of such wonderful opportunities. Let me know if you’re going, will you?

Killer

Dear killer,

Please be informed that stinking is NOT your birth right. If I had my way, it would be on top of the list of criminal offences.

I used to think it was grueling to wake up at a set time every morning and travel to my work place for an hour. I should have counted my blessings those days, because right in the middle of my self pity, you arrived. Dressed impeccably - Except, your pseudo sexy perfume did not cover up your stench. You were leaving behind a trail of people in coma. Yet your aura of confidence, was astonishing. You chose me as the blessed one and sat next to me in the bus. My nostrils shut off. My mind started going numb. My lungs were screaming. If it were India, i'd put my head out of the window and risk getting hit by a heavy vehicle or tree branch, rather than suffocate and die. Sadly, LTA in Singapore enjoys inflicting all kinds of torture on people. They deny us sensible conductors, then they pack us in buses and trains with killers like you. Someday, I would like to write a book titled WHY? these folks, and of course, you would feature in it. I'm digressing!

Sensing that I wouldn't survive the journey, I politely alighted at the next stop. I am almost sure that the 14 people who got off with me didn't intend to get off here when they first boarded the bus.

Some senseless folks fix up meetings for 9AM. No doubts, this HAD to be one of those days. There was no way I could wait for the next bus to arrive (this bus deserves many prestigious awards for it awesome frequency of 'once every 35 minutes' during peak hours - that is an entire story by itself). I dialed a cab, paid extra booking fees, peak hour charges and got to work.

Please reimburse $18.90

"All the perfume of Arabia will not sweeten this hand. Oh oh Oh!"