Diwali

Diwali is fast approaching - and in quite a few years, it finally has some meaning.

however, thanks to thalaivar, everyone get ready for a deluge of messages from all over that says "Happy Diwali Folks"

How did I miss this?

Disclaimer : The post below has been lifted from Shweta's blog -word for word. I am disappointed that I missed this announcement somewhere in uni. I am even further disappointed that a similar session was not organised for the ladies!

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Ever wish there is an enriching experiential session to address your key concerns as a male and quickly improve your personal appeal to attract that special someone? Do you wait months and years for her answer only to discover she got just attached last night — to a guy she barely knew for less than an hour?!! Ever throw your hands up in the air and exclaim, “That’s it! I’ve had enough!”

Do Not Wait! Join THIS Event announced on the NUS student portal:

What Women Want – How to be the One Women Desire

Here’s your chance to clear the doubts and find out what really goes on behind the ladies’ world, take what really works to make your personal life more exciting, enriching and exhilarating than before!

In this no-holds barred exciting session, you will discover…

Why do some men keep getting rejected and how you canminimize or even eliminate being rejected…

The secret techniques of making women desire to draw themselves closer to you!

Why some guys could be attached in less than an hour and how you can too!

What are the rules of attraction for guys and why is everyone designed to play by them!

What makes a woman decide you might be the man she wants!

The hidden ways and strategies of getting ladies to open their hearts, seeking to be with you more and more…

How to make a woman think about you constantly!

Answers to all the burning questions you have been wanting to ask…

And much, much more…

(Due to the confidential and highly sensitive nature of the information, this program is STRICTLY for MEN only. Participants are required to sign a non-disclosure agreementprior to attending the workshop.)

Alas! Being female deprives one of such wonderful opportunities. Let me know if you’re going, will you?

Killer

Dear killer,

Please be informed that stinking is NOT your birth right. If I had my way, it would be on top of the list of criminal offences.

I used to think it was grueling to wake up at a set time every morning and travel to my work place for an hour. I should have counted my blessings those days, because right in the middle of my self pity, you arrived. Dressed impeccably - Except, your pseudo sexy perfume did not cover up your stench. You were leaving behind a trail of people in coma. Yet your aura of confidence, was astonishing. You chose me as the blessed one and sat next to me in the bus. My nostrils shut off. My mind started going numb. My lungs were screaming. If it were India, i'd put my head out of the window and risk getting hit by a heavy vehicle or tree branch, rather than suffocate and die. Sadly, LTA in Singapore enjoys inflicting all kinds of torture on people. They deny us sensible conductors, then they pack us in buses and trains with killers like you. Someday, I would like to write a book titled WHY? these folks, and of course, you would feature in it. I'm digressing!

Sensing that I wouldn't survive the journey, I politely alighted at the next stop. I am almost sure that the 14 people who got off with me didn't intend to get off here when they first boarded the bus.

Some senseless folks fix up meetings for 9AM. No doubts, this HAD to be one of those days. There was no way I could wait for the next bus to arrive (this bus deserves many prestigious awards for it awesome frequency of 'once every 35 minutes' during peak hours - that is an entire story by itself). I dialed a cab, paid extra booking fees, peak hour charges and got to work.

Please reimburse $18.90

"All the perfume of Arabia will not sweeten this hand. Oh oh Oh!"